on another note, my daughter has a stomach virus and has been horrendously ill. poor thing. she's so little and fragile when she's sick. also very weepy. she's usually so independent and bright. but yesterday and today, she's down in the dumps. i feel for her. i've been trying to keep her comfortable and hydrated. its been easy for me to NOT EAT while she's not and it makes me feel ridiculously guilty. other than not eating, i've been overly focused/worried about her. she's running 103 fever and can't keep much down. however, today she's doing much better than yesterday and had a little white rice. thank god. she's only 29 LBS.
i know. i know. i'm a damn hypocrite. whatever. she's not the one who is worthless and stupid. she's beautiful. wonderful. amazing in every way. totally lovable. innocent. i'm damaged goods. have been since i was her age. there's no hope for me. as long as i stay on the right track and try to make things good for her, i think i'll level out... eventually. hopefully.
sometimes i look at her and think that i was innocent like her once. until my stupid DNA monster of a bio-mom fucked me all up (among the vast amounts of other things). blah blah blah. woe is me.
height - 5'4
weight - 120 LBS
BMI - 20.60
- Monday - preferably 0 cals - water only fast (but if feeling drastic, can have chicken broth or beef broth).
- Tuesday - Little cals - liquid only fast (can have sugar free red bulls, vitamin water, and watered-down juice
- Wednesday - 200 cals - proteins and veggies if possible.
- Thursday - 400 cals - proteins, veggies, and little dairy if possible.
- Friday - 600 cals - proteins, veggies, and dairy.
- Saturday - 800 cals - proteins, veggies, fruits and dairy.
- Sunday (AKA eat day) - 1000 cals - anything, as long as you don't go over 1000 max.
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