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wicked

wicked
~created by zerofax~

Daily Quotes

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

~Dr.Seuss


Daily Lyrics

Lyrical Excerpt taken from "In the Middle" written, composed, and performed by Jimmy Eats World.

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out
or looked down on
Just try your best,
try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
when you're away
It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright
Hey, you know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own,
so don't buy in
Live right now, yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else
It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright

Monday, May 9, 2011

I am teetering on existinction. And yet. I have grown. Much larger. The weight is packing on. And for some reason I cannot control it. I'm at 134 lbs. Its driving me nuts. I want to be back to 120. 110. 100. OMFG. It is absolutely insane how fat I've gotten so quickly. Start teaching and start stressing. Start teaching and start gaining. And not in the positive aspects of the word. "Gaining". BAH! I'm hoping that once this school year is over and I am off for the summer, that I will be able to grab the reigns again and lose this weight. I want to be small again. Thin. Minimal. Fit into my 3s and then maybe even buy some smaller sizes than that. Unfortunately, currently I am unable to even fit into my 7s comfortably. I AM SO MORTIFIED. What am I to do? I know. I know. You think I'm disgusting and vile. I know. It's horrible. Someone please help me lose this fat.

I ate 2,307 cals today. RAR! I used to be able to go all day without eating and now I can't take it. I'm getting old. I'M AN OLD FAT HAG! someone kill me............ please. put me out of my misery. like a lame horse. someone shoot me.








age - 30
height - 5'4
weight - 134 LBS
BMI - 23.69

Books

  • Gaining: the truth about life after eating disorders by Aimee Liu
  • Hunger Point by Jillian Medoff
  • Inside Out: Portrait of an Eating Disorder by Nadia Shivack
  • Looks by Madeleine George
  • Perfect by Natasha Friend
  • Purge by Sarah Darer Littman
  • Skin by Adrienne Maria Vrettos
  • Solitaire by Aimee Liu
  • Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self by Lori Gottlieb
  • Zero by Diane Tullson

Movies

  • A Secret Between Friends
  • Dying to be Perfect
  • Dying to be Thin
  • For The Love of Nancy
  • Hunger Point
  • Kate's Secret
  • Killing Us Softly
  • Perfect Body
  • Perfect Illusions
  • Sharing the Secret
  • Slender Existence
  • Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story
  • The Best Little Girl in the World
  • The Famine Within
  • Thin
  • When Friendship Kills

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