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wicked

wicked
~created by zerofax~

Daily Quotes

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

~Dr.Seuss


Daily Lyrics

Lyrical Excerpt taken from "In the Middle" written, composed, and performed by Jimmy Eats World.

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out
or looked down on
Just try your best,
try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
when you're away
It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright
Hey, you know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own,
so don't buy in
Live right now, yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else
It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright

Sunday, February 28, 2010

growling update

so i went on my google agenda and adjusted my 2468 plan again. i just felt like was eating way too much this week. so i'm liquid fasting today. so far so good. i've had 2 sugar free redbulls (20 cals), tons of green tea/ginseng tea (0 cals), a frozen fuit pop (40 cals), and half a serving of a protein smoothie (1/2 Naked Protein serving - 110 cals). so total of 170 cals. not bad. i decided to add little bits of liquid protein smoothies to my intake on fast days just so i can keep up with my 2 year old. she's a bit nutty, especially on the weekends. lots of energy. anywho, i plan on having some chicken broth later (about 20 cals per cup) and more green/ginseng tea. that's it for the rest of the day. so i'm hoping not to go over 200 cals today, even though it is technically a FAST day. i just having gotten strong enough for a total water fast as of yet and i really don't want to set myself up for a binge. maybe when i start really working, i'll be able to go an entire day with water and tea only. we'll see.
la la la. i've been extremely tired and depressed lately. all i want to do is sleep. but my daughter needs me, so i can't. i'm twisted up in knots. and bored out of my mind. which is NOT a good thing. being that... i eat when i'm bored and then obsess about how fat i've become. blah.
i'm so depressed. i don't even have it in me to complain or write right now. sad.

age - 29
height - 5'4
weight - 117 LBS
BMI - 20.08

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Books

  • Gaining: the truth about life after eating disorders by Aimee Liu
  • Hunger Point by Jillian Medoff
  • Inside Out: Portrait of an Eating Disorder by Nadia Shivack
  • Looks by Madeleine George
  • Perfect by Natasha Friend
  • Purge by Sarah Darer Littman
  • Skin by Adrienne Maria Vrettos
  • Solitaire by Aimee Liu
  • Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self by Lori Gottlieb
  • Zero by Diane Tullson

Movies

  • A Secret Between Friends
  • Dying to be Perfect
  • Dying to be Thin
  • For The Love of Nancy
  • Hunger Point
  • Kate's Secret
  • Killing Us Softly
  • Perfect Body
  • Perfect Illusions
  • Sharing the Secret
  • Slender Existence
  • Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story
  • The Best Little Girl in the World
  • The Famine Within
  • Thin
  • When Friendship Kills

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