so despite my recent difficulties sticking to my new "plan", i've been losing a LB a day. its crazy! maybe its because of my renewed joy for exercise or maybe its bcuz of all the purging at night... or stress... or i don't know. i definitely have not been keeping to my plan. ate 800 cals yesterday. disgusting. i'm hoping to do 700 today. ive decided to stop bitching and moaning about how hard this new plan is right now and just keep my cal intake low until i can try it again on Monday. FAST FAST FAST on Monday. i have a lot of errands i need to run on Monday, so that should help. but what worries me the most is evening/dinner time. though ive found that i'm depressed or going through "an episode of mine" i don't get hungry. nice. well stress is CRAZY right now. my husband and i are having a real difficult time right now, ROCKY, due to his mother living with us since early November. BAH! she's a nice lady and all, but i need my damn privacy and this place is small enough as it is. plus... she does nothing. absolutely nothing. and eats all my daughters food. go ahead and eat, but i get very protective of my daughter's food. no matter how fucked up i am about my own food, i know logically that it is important for my child to eat and be nutritionally sound. don't fuck with my daughter's food.
anyways, to make a long story short... i'm attempting to get her "medical" help. i mean, come on, if youre so messed up can you at least try to hide it from your granddaughter (my daughter). i mean, i do. shit. no, instead she like straight up tells my 2 yr old things that kids just don't need to know about. its disgusting. the kid is going to have enough trouble when she hits pre-adolescence due to genes (on both sides ---> depression, ED, drinking, addiction, being a girl)... but for the love of god, lets not start filling her head with fears and woes. its not right.
blah blah blah. wells... so far all i've had today is 1 hard boiled egg, yolk only, 4 tablespoons of hummus, raw spinach leaves with balsamic vinegar, and 2 sugar free redbulls (WHICH I LOVE). total cal intake = 317. it is 2:51 pm and hopefully i can stay below 700 after dinner. i think i can. i think i can. i know i can. i know i can. i knew i could......
MY DIET PLAN FOR NEXT WEEK
- Monday - 0 cals - water only fast.
- Tuesday - Little cals - liquid only fast (can have sugar free red bulls, vitamin water, and watered-down juice)
- Wednesday - 200 cals - proteins and veggies if possible.
- Thursday - 400 cals - proteins, veggies, and little dairy if possible.
- Friday - 600 cals - proteins, veggies, and dairy.
- Saturday - 800 cals - proteins, veggies, fruits and dairy.
- Sunday (AKA eat day) - 1000 cals - anything, as long as you don't go over 1000 max.
age - 29
height - 5'4
weight - 122 LBS
BMI - 20.94
1 comment:
Congrats on losing a lb a day! Your post seems like a mirror of where I was in May of last year. My hubby and I were splitting (thankfully we worked things out), and I was purging like crazy. The stress alone led me to lose 45lbs in like 3 months.
It sounds like a catch 22, but now that I'm less stressed, I'm having a horrible time losing the weight. So, basically, even though the stress sucks- use it!
Your diet sounds like a great plan too, good luck with it!
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