form fitted and fat

success on yesterday's fast. mostly. thank god! couldn't stick to water only, so i had two sugar free redbulls, lots of green/ginseng tea, and beef broth. about a total of 50 cals. had no solid food whatsoever. and near the end (late night) it was soooooooooo difficult to stick to it. but i did. so pat me on the back bitches.

today has been successful so far too. all i've had is water, green/ginseng tea, vitamin water, and beef broth. my daughter stuck a strawberry in my mouth, but i really don't count that cuz i didn't want to "not eat" in front of her now that she has her appetite back. so 1 strawberry. i think that's like 7 calories or something like that. i'll have to check. anywho, so far i've only had about 40 cals. good good.

tomorrow i can have 200 cals. i'll keep it light. i have a ton of errands to run and i'm volunteering tomorrow, so it should be easy. hopefully. that damn chocolate cake is still in the fridge whispering lewd temptations my way, but i've been doing an awesome job ignoring it.... so far. i begged my husband to take the frickin thing to work for him, but i think he knows it calls to me and for some reason revels in that. blah. whatever.

i dropped a LB. back down to 120. hoping 119 tomorrow after today's fast. slowly but surely down, down, down. couldn't sleep until late last night. wrote a new poem (its been soooooooooooooooo long since i've written anything with any clout). anyways, please don't take it or use it without my permission. thanks. here goes....

HUNGER

dry mouth
swollen tongue
smelling faintly of vomit
and listerine
masked shame
and horror
feeling nothing
seeing nothing
knowing too much
hoping to forget
and it tears at me
like sharp tiny teeth
gnawing
at my insides
roaring within
as relentless knives stab
sending shooting pangs
up my spine
and back
down through my bowels
disease ridden
and rotten
a hollow hole
filled
with invisible shit

ncl....2010.

age - 29
height - 5'4
weight - 120 LBS
BMI - 20.6

• Monday - preferably 0 cals - water only fast (but if feeling drastic, can have chicken broth or beef broth).
• Tuesday - Little cals - liquid only fast (can have sugar free red bulls, vitamin water, and watered-down juice
• Wednesday - 200 cals - proteins and veggies if possible.
• Thursday - 400 cals - proteins, veggies, and little dairy if possible.
• Friday - 600 cals - proteins, veggies, and dairy.
• Saturday - 800 cals - proteins, veggies, fruits and dairy.
• Sunday (AKA eat day) - 1000 cals - anything, as long as you don't go over 1000 max.