Where is the thinspo? Slide down to the bottom of my blog to see. ENJOY!

wicked

wicked
~created by zerofax~

Daily Quotes

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

~Dr.Seuss


Daily Lyrics

Lyrical Excerpt taken from "In the Middle" written, composed, and performed by Jimmy Eats World.

Hey, don't write yourself off yet
It's only in your head you feel left out
or looked down on
Just try your best,
try everything you can
And don't you worry what they tell themselves
when you're away
It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright, alright
Hey, you know they're all the same
You know you're doing better on your own,
so don't buy in
Live right now, yeah, just be yourself
It doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else
It just takes some time
Little girl you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be alright

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

spring break / easter / slash getting fat

i've been out of town. visiting with family. close family. family that are well aware of my issues with food. see.... my history... in the past.... when i was 16 and 17, i was hospitalized for cocaine addiction and ED. this was back in 1996, prior to the label addition of EDNOS to the DSM book in 2000. anywho, i had (still have) tendencies towards both. although the cocaine was only a symptom, i only did it so i wouldn't be hungry. believe me. it was more about being thin, than being high... although that was a nice added bonus at the time consider the crap i was dealing with as a teenager.
welps, so long story short, i had to tread carefully while away and around these family members of mine. and i gained 2 LBS back. BAH!

my scale is currently reading 112.6. so of course i round back up to 113. i have been liquid fasting all day today, so far so good. all i've had is some chicken broth (20 cals), 1/2 Naked Protein serving (110 cals), and a 8.4 oz sugar free red bull (10 cals). i am extremely nervous today. and NOT eating has been a simple thing because of it. i want to be 100 by may 1st so damn bad. yet i'm not sure how i will be able to accomplish that being the date today. not without cutting off a limb or something (just kidding).
age - 29
height - 5'4
weight - 113
BMI - 19.4

3 comments:

Z. said...

Glad you are back! I missed you! Now that the holidays are over, you will be back in the game, with boost to the metabolism, i'm sure. Woo! I'm excited for you because I know you can do this!

Anonymous said...

Don't let this break you down.
I gained my two pounds back, as well.
We can lose it again, and more.
Keep your liquid fast going, it sounds like you're back on the right track.

EedeeKnows said...

Don't worry about it dude, you'll drop those pounds before you know it! You're doing sooo much better than me now. I'm back at 116.5 due to anxiety/asthma/allergies and whatever is making me feel like my heart is going to explode. It sucks, because I feel legit sick if I don't eat now. So I'm a huge whale again. Ugh. Be stronger than me, beauty.

Books

  • Gaining: the truth about life after eating disorders by Aimee Liu
  • Hunger Point by Jillian Medoff
  • Inside Out: Portrait of an Eating Disorder by Nadia Shivack
  • Looks by Madeleine George
  • Perfect by Natasha Friend
  • Purge by Sarah Darer Littman
  • Skin by Adrienne Maria Vrettos
  • Solitaire by Aimee Liu
  • Stick Figure: A Diary of My Former Self by Lori Gottlieb
  • Zero by Diane Tullson

Movies

  • A Secret Between Friends
  • Dying to be Perfect
  • Dying to be Thin
  • For The Love of Nancy
  • Hunger Point
  • Kate's Secret
  • Killing Us Softly
  • Perfect Body
  • Perfect Illusions
  • Sharing the Secret
  • Slender Existence
  • Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story
  • The Best Little Girl in the World
  • The Famine Within
  • Thin
  • When Friendship Kills

My Alison Thinspo

My Olivia Thinspo

My Fiona Thinspo

My Keira Thinspo

My Natalie Thinspo

My Jennifer Thinspo

My Angelina Thinspo

My Gwen Thinspo

My Kate Thinspo